Where did we get this stuff?
All of my children have a “goodie drawer.” This is the name I came up with for this special space in their room that contains all the things. All the tiny objects like slap bracelets, stickers, bouncy balls, pencils, tiny plastic squishy animals, etc. This is the drawer that is home to everything they can’t bear to part with. All the tiny things that have no purpose for everyday use. We get these items from school, birthday parties and every place you can imagine. Almost daily, a tiny object appears in my children’s possession. Sometimes it’s from a school reward, or treats passed out for a birthday. The pile or “drawer” grows and grows.
Now I know this is not a crisis, clearly. We have so many more issues in our world than having way too many tiny plastic toys. But, as a mother, this amount of stuff to manage feels overwhelming. Thinking about years past, even my childhood, the amount of stuff was growing but no where near where we are today. I remember having a slap bracelet and a bouncy ball and tiny erasers. But I remember having a few, not a thousand.
The mini plastic trend of anything you can imagine had not quite caught on. Growing up we found tiny objects in the toy vending machines in the plastic balls that you paid a quarter for. You could maybe talk your mom into getting one every three months at the grocery store. Now, you can order giant packs of those from amazon, dump a handful into a after game day snack bag, and hand it out to the entire team. Instantly, each child’s goodie drawer just grew by 12 new tiny plastic items.
How are we really managing?
I have heard of parents who round up small items and put them in a box out of sight to wait. If the item hasn’t been mentioned in a month or two by the child, in the garbage it goes. I have also been sucked into You Tube channels of people who have gone totally minimal. They either don’t allow their children to have those items or are regularly throwing them away. All of this is a method, a system that works for that family.
My point is, we are constantly managing stuff whether we want to or not. Just because you are a minimalist does not mean that you are exempt from all the stuff. When your child attends a birthday party, they will get a goodie bag with 25 tiny things in it whether you approve or not. Your child will LOVE everything in it. Then they will either cry, be disappointed for days, or deep down hate you for throwing it out. It’s not that easy. Whether you are a minimalist or a maximalist, you are managing stuff on a whole other level today, than ever before.
I cringe thinking about the amount of time I am spending trying to be in control of all the items our family owns. It’s really not possible.
The Catch
Naturally I look back and think if I lived a hundred and fifty years ago, some of this stuff would be amazing for my children! A fun bouncy ball? Tiny animal erasers? Mini notebook and pen? All of this stuff would have been a game changer, and truly it is. But there is always a cost. There is always a catch.
This is where I realize it has always been a struggle for every generation, every decade, every era. The struggles are there because this is life, but they are all very different. A mother 100 years ago didn’t have a dishwasher, but she very well didn’t have enough dishes to fill it up with. Which is difficult on one level and then easier on another.
I always feel short on time, always rushed to the next to do. I wonder if all the stuff is creating my busyness. Now, I’m not a minimalist nor a maximalist, but I do operate better when everything has a place and the amount of stuff is less. I like clean counters and picked up surfaces. I stow things away in baskets or totes or in cupboards or closets. My mind is less scattered when the clutter is cleared. Having multiple children clearly creates more stuff, and keeping the stuff in check especially in todays world can feel like a full time job.
It has no meaning
My children have a different appreciation for toys and candy just because of the copious amounts being handed their way.
They get tiny plastic toys and candy on the regular from sources outside of home. A few days ago we visited our local bookmobile and got signed up for summer reading. Right in the middle of the free books you could pick from was a giant bowl of suckers. My kids lit up and looked at me and the bookmobile lady. She responded quickly and said, “yes have one or even two.” I looked at them and said, “one is good.”
All of the little candy and tiny toys are so cheap, and so abundant. This is dangerous for so many reasons. But aside from health, expectation can be similarly harmful. For example, if one second grader brings in cupcakes adorned with a plastic ring favor on top, everyone second grader there after wants to do the same or feels like they should. Personally, I do not recall bringing in treats for my class on my birthday growing up. Yet here we are today, providing the class with treats and a toy?
In this season
But… I don’t have the heart to clear out the goodie drawer. I’m not going to start tossing stickers and squishy balls because it bothers me, and feels too much. I want my children to be able to sort through it and remember getting whatever it is at the carnival in first grade. To remember the friends party that handed the pens out, or the Valentine they got with the silly glasses included. In the end it is their stuff, and I try to let my sensitivities to clutter go.
I too am sentimental and have been known to hold onto things because I just can’t let it go. This was represented in Eve O. Schaubs’ book A Year of No Clutter. Our things are our memories, they represent who we are and we find comfort in that. It gets tricky as a parent to manage all the items coming into the home, while trying to be sensitive to our children’s attachments and likes. When it gets overwhelming, sure we go through it and kinda purge. But this land of tiny plastic toys is what they know. This is normal for them. And it is fun.
I’m sure someday down the road, much quicker than I would like, they will have no use for this stuff. I can see them heading out for college, tossing most of the drawer and laughing about keeping all that ridiculous junk. All this stuff that kinda bothers me now feels sad for me to think about throwing away when they are too big to even care. That day is coming whether I want it to or not, so it helps me be a little more content with the goodie drawer.
Perspective. Sometimes that is all I need to get through this motherhood journey.
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