When starting this blog I had many thoughts on what I wanted to write. Ever since I was little I wanted to write a book. Of course I never knew what I wanted to write about and as an avid reader there are many topics to get entangled in. But as I come to pursue my interest in writing here on this blog, the one thing I feel most compelled to write about is motherhood.
I am fully engaged in mothering currently so I have many things to discuss. More than motherhood though, I feel so eager to write about the current state of mothers and the crisis we are in. I’m not talking about the crisis we read about time and again on social media and the news, or that we experience all around us as the general consensus of mothering.
I am talking about mothering with pride. Mothering as a calling, as a sacrifice. Mothering with joy and earnest. Mothering with care and love and protectiveness. Finding one’s true self, one’s true identity in being a mother and mothering in this way without fear of ridicule.
Notably when you google “motherhood crisis”, the topics and articles that come up are all about mothers having an identity crisis. They are talking about how to find themselves, their real self, their old self that was lost and thrown out with the thousands of dirty diapers they have changed.
There is a constant pressure for women to be and do all the things. But what if our society let us be “just a mom.” Even that phrase alone creates big feelings for many women out there. But maybe, just maybe, a new mom could settle into being just a mom if it was allowed. Or the mom of older children who has more free time, could still be just a mom if it was considered acceptable. If there wasn’t a push from the outside world to get back to our job, our before children body, our life before. If we were truly free to let our old life be something we are grateful to be done with, not constantly striving to get back to.
10 years ago, becoming a mother finally gave light to who I was. It gave me meaning, and purpose above every other path I had pursued in search of distinguishing myself to the world. So I was unprepared for the dismissive attitude of others, mothers included. Like an attack, I have experienced a disrespectful culture of people towards mothers and children. Furthermore there is a definite negative connotation towards mothering with care. No wonder we are having a crisis! Loving our children how we naturally are inclined, tends to be considered foolish and ridiculous from mothers and non-mothers alike.
You may have heard the term helicopter mom, hummingbird parents, velcro moms. All of these labels come with a negative sentiment towards them. And let it be said that not all mothers are alike, but the respect is lost. There is not a camaraderie among us mothers, but hostility and aloofness.
I want to take back the pride of mothering. To hold what is dear literally, and not be made to feel like I’m being too involved in my child’s life or caring too much. Can we care too much about our children? Absolutely not.
Children are not a distraction from the most important work. They are the most important work.
C.S. Lewis
Share:
One comment on “A Crisis”